March 14, 2013

Psalm 69

To the leader: according to Lilies. Of David.
¹ Save me, O God,
   for the waters have come up to my neck.
² I sink in deep mire,
   where there is no foothold;
I have come into deep waters,
   and the flood sweeps over me.
³ I am weary with my crying;
   my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
   with waiting for my God.

⁴ More in number than the hairs of my head
   are those who hate me without cause;
many are those who would destroy me,
   my enemies who accuse me falsely.
What I did not steal
   must I now restore?
⁵ O God, you know my folly;
   the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you.

It is sometimes unnerving when Bible verses speak so personally – so intimately – but it reminds me that God knows me better than I know myself. How many times in the last several months have I heard myself say the words, “I can’t seem to get my head above water,” or “I feel like I just grab a breath but a wave pushes me back under,” or “I’m overwhelmed/drowning?” Comments made metaphorically can echo deeply and I find them often reflected back at me through my reading passages of the Bible.

Comments I would probably never utter out loud, “my enemies accuse me falsely,” are laid bare in front of me in Psalm 69. It is true that everyone goes through periods of unfair rumors or false friends, but when you try to rise above their pettiness, swallow it in an attempt to dismiss it, God reminds me that it is still there in my heart because He sees it. He is not fooled and I am not above the hurt.

“I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us…  Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words” (Romans 8).

I am grateful that despite my pathetic attempts to rise above the petty struggles of my life, the Lord knows me to the depths of my soul, accepts me and my struggles and loves me anyway.

As I go through the Lenten season, I think about the temptation of Jesus and I know my “tests” pale in comparison. If Jesus can bare the trials and tribulations the devil himself placed before him – and all for saving my soul – I can certainly strive to rise above the storm waters, thank the Lord for loving me despite my failures, and take each new day as an opportunity to earn the sacrifice Jesus suffered for me.

- Kathleen Dixon