March 27, 2013

St. Augustine said, "So these two wills within me, one old, one new, one the servant of the flesh, the other of the spirit, were in conflict and between them they tore my soul apart." There's opposition and conflict. And (ouch!) a torn soul.

And it seems that today's readings say the same thing (or at least they do to me, but I have to admit, it's a theme I'm drawn to). There's the darkness and the light in the Gospel of John. And it may be stretching a bit, but it seems Paul describes opposites, too, when he says, "I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty." Paul, of course, goes on to summarize neatly and surely, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Good for you, Paul! Myself, I feel more like Augustine.

Jeremiah says:

5 Thus says the Lord:

Cursed are those who trust in mere mortals

   and make mere flesh their strength,

   whose hearts turn away from the Lord.

6 They shall be like […all kinds of pitiful things.]

7 Blessed are those who trust in the Lord,

   whose trust is the Lord.

8 They shall be like […all beauty and wonder here.]

We live in a polarized world: Right, wrong. Left, right. Feminine, masculine. Black, white. Oh, but there are fifty shades of grey (or so I hear, since I haven’t read that book!). 

We may all be saints and sinners, but frankly, it's hard to admit that and to live and feel that deep conflict. So I pray with Jeremiah, "Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved."