Saturday, March 10, 2012

Though an army should encamp against me, yet my heart shall not be afraid…Psalm 27:3

A familial affliction, FEAR, is evident in at least three, if not four, of my witnessed generations. My grandmother was a fear monger, as was my mother. I now carry this burden, and I am afraid(excuse the pun) that I can see it surface in the emotions of my twenty-something children. A few of the more potent fears are illness, failure, rejection, aging, the future, and the death of loved ones. Some will say that everyone experiences these fears from time to time, but my kind of fear can be a debilitating affliction that can cripple me into inaction. At times like this, I become much like the unclean demoniac of Mark’s Gospel whose life was crippled by his disease and kept him living among the tombs.

I am not alone in my various fears. In today’s Genesis reading, Joseph’s brothers were afraid when they arrived home and discovered the money they had brought to pay Joseph was still in their packs. They were afraid of reprisal when they returned the money to Joseph. They were afraid of Benjamin’s fate when he was brought to Joseph. Joseph was afraid to let his brothers see his emotion at the sight of Benjamin. The people in Mark’s Gospel feared the demoniac and his disease. They were even afraid as to how he was cured.

Although fear simmers just below the surface of my life, I function well enough most of the time with help. While there is no secular treatment, no pill to assuage the burden of fear, I have found an antidote which can take the Legion of fear, drive it into swine, and send it careering off a cliff allowing me to carry on. This remedy lies in two of the psalms, 23 and 27, as well as the Old Testament and Gospel readings accorded for today,

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me (Psalm 23:4).

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom then shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom then shall I be afraid?(Psalm 27:1).

The antidote and my first reaction to fear is Oh God! When I turn to the Lord and ask Him to help me with my Legion of fear, He has never failed me. When I trust in the Lord, He casts the burden of fear into the abyss. He restores my soul. He leads me through the valley of fears to the still waters and restores my soul (until the next time).

While the next generation will probably not escape the hereditary affliction, I am confident, not afraid, that with the Lord as their shepherd, they, too, will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

(Janet E. Moran)