My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are
not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great
matters or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself, I
am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. (Psalm 131)
Perhaps I was drawn to this particular Psalm amongst
all of the other readings for today because I am currently nursing my
daughter. Although I love the
relationship, sometimes I do look forward to the day that I will no longer be
the sole source of nutrition for her as it can be an all-consuming
responsibility. But what does it mean to
be content like a weaned child? I’ve
been thinking about this a lot for a few weeks.
Apparently when you have a newborn at home you have tons of time to
think, though not so much time with two hands free to type.
For a child to be weaned, they have reached a
certain milestone in life. This is
usually the culmination of the first year’s busy schedule of learning to smile,
sit, crawl, eat table food, walk, and numerous other developmental skills. Not that learning and development stops at
that point, but it is sort of like a graduation to the next phase of life. For me, graduations have always been times of
contemplation. Not only of where I am
going next in my life, but also realizing that I’ve been running through my
life leading up to graduation. In
today’s world it is so challenging to remember to stop and smell the
roses. One more chore, one more
assignment, one more email, and the list goes on of all the little things that
keep us from relaxing and enjoying the fruits of our labor. Graduations seem to be a unique lull in
activity that allow for rest and contemplation.
Assignments leading up to the end have all been submitted, tasks closed
out, and the new responsibilities have not begun yet. It is a brief reprieve from the relentless to
do list. It is almost scary. And yet, it is the rare opportunity to be
truly calm, quiet, content.
When you find yourself in such a time stop – whether
it be a graduation, between jobs, or just a really good vacation – take
advantage of the opportunity to evaluate your life. My heart is not proud, my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. What can be done better? Do relationships in my life need more time
invested? Have I overlooked something
that fulfills me? It is so easy to get
caught up in getting to the next part of life that we often forget to enjoy the
present, to enjoy the people around us, and to be thankful for what we
have.
Something I have been striving for is not waiting
until graduation or a vacation to think about things like this. I have been trying to contemplate my life,
where my time is spent, and to be thankful for what I have on a daily basis. There is nothing like having a child to make
you be thankful for every day. The
milestones are so close together, the changes happen so quickly. Everyone around me tells me to enjoy her
while she is little because they grow up so fast. One day she smiles, the next day she laughs,
and then she is babbling at me. And yet
at the very same time, it is so easy to lose track of time with all the new
responsibilities and tasks associated with a baby. It is almost too easy to
revert to “survival mode” and let life whiz right by. So back to my opening line, I will try my
hardest not to dream of when my daughter is weaned, and instead enjoy all the
quiet moments of snuggling. But in doing
that, I hope to find the quiet and contentment that the Psalmist is speaking
of.
(Amanda Kirchner)
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